My Biggest (and worst) story yet!

As some of you might know, I LOVE writing. It just… calms my soul! However, I suck at it. This is probably one of my longest stories yet, and If you can read all of it… I guess I’ll give you a prize (validation). If this is met with positive reception, I might do more. Let the horribleness commence!
Oh yeah based on TGFB

Are you prepared?

I still couldn’t believe what was happening. In front of my eyes, I saw Hamm, the ruler of our land, frown at other skins I thought were masterpieces.

“4 out of ten. Oooh, I’ll give that a seven out of ten. Nice skin, Slap, that’s a solid 8! Now, as for you, Flame…” Hamm stopped at my skin. I glanced worriedly at my only ally, Slapdabass.

Unlike all of the others, I had joined in the middle of the season. The others already had strong alliances, or surefire strategies. But I was alone. No one was willing to take in a weakling, the runt of the litter. Hamm had only let me join because she wanted to see how a newbie would be reacted to. Little did anyone know, I had an ace up my sleeve. The only one who knew my secret was Slap.

Hamm’s eyes flitted back and forth, to and fro, in an almost hypnotizing manner, like everything else she did. “That’s the worst yet, Faraway_Flame. 2 out of ten.”

As Hamm looked at my skin in disgust, Slap mouthed a quick “I’m sorry, Flame.” As everyone else left the judging area, Slap walked towards me. He knew how badly Hamm could get into our heads. Hands in his pockets, his eyes circled the room, avoiding my eyes. He didn’t have to tell me what would happen next. I already knew. I was about to get eliminated. Instead, he just patted me on the back and left the room.


Everyone knew Hamm, the monarch of our land. To be honest, she didn’t rise to her position because of her leadership skills, or her lineage. Her family wasn’t poor, by any means, but the royal bloodline favored the oldest boy of the king and queen. Hamm only became our ruler because of her power.

She had the ability to hypnotize people, get in their minds, without even trying. Her mind was as strong as an iron fortress, and we all were straw huts compared to her. I was one of the only people who could resist her power- to some degree. She was using her powers to get all of the other mages to give her their life force. The only thing standing in her way were the Fire Mages (us).

I woke up with a start in the Fire Mages’ quarters, a pyromancy scroll in my hand. Again, I must have fallen asleep while attempting to study the ancient spell. It was one of the library’s oldest scrolls, and it contained a code as old as time itself, locked behind layers and layers of safeguards and shrouded in complete secrecy.

I had gotten very close to decoding it last night, that much I could remember. I muttered a quick sun spell, trying to get it to tell me the time and orientation of the sun that morning, as the alignment of the sun was crucial to decode and cast certain fire spells. I gasped, now fully awake. Guess who was late to class by an hour and a half? Me.

I rushed to the teaching hall, glasses crooked, textbooks nearly falling out of my hand- and walked in to find the entire room blow up in my face. As I was blasted back by the force of the explosion, I saw a familiar figure- Hamm. She was commanding a fire master to blow up a room that, usually, was invulnerable to fire.

These thoughts more or less flew out the window, or, more appropriately, the giant hole where the teaching hall used to be when I hit the wall with full force, my textbooks scattering everywhere, burning to ashes- along with the prized pyromancy scroll. Hamm looked at me with a gleam in her eye.

“Oh no.” I muttered under my breath.


I trudged to the voting room, certain I would be thrown in the pit, like all of the other discarded former competitors. ‘I was at least in the final six.’ I thought to myself. ‘But that doesn’t even mean much, because I had joined when there were only eight competitors.’

I really didn’t want any more drama. I was sick and tired of “The Great Fallerim Battle” or whatever the name was. As I entered the wide atrium of the voting room, Slap ran over to me.

“Listen. I got Glace to vote for Bread. If we both vote for him as well, there’s no chance that you get sent…” He paused, not wanting to say the name of the beast that had swallowed all of his other friends. “…there. I know you aren’t happy about that score, but if you want to survive, this is the only way.”

Tired and unhappy, I stole a look at Bread. He saw me and beamed, an honest, genuine smile. I couldn’t let an innocent, friendly, and hardworking guy like that go to the pit. Who knew what horrors might have awaited him there? There was no telling what would happen.

Glaceon looked at me, pitiful. “I know, I know. Bread’s a good person. But it’s the only way you survive. They all want you dead.” I sighed, and I voted Bread, unsure of whether I was still a good person.

Hamm broke the silence with a loud announcement. “Everyone! The battle will begin in two hours!”

I paled. “What battle?” I asked Slap nervously.

“You didn’t know? There’s going to be a duel. The two second most voted for are going to battle it out. And the loser… goes there.” With a sinking feeling, I felt like I knew what was going to happen next.


“Yeah, Flame?”

“If I don’t make it out of this, then…”


“Thanks. For everything.”

Slap smiled. “You’re welcome. Now stop moping around. You’re gonna win this.”

I smiled back, comforted by knowing someone was rooting for me.


Slapdabass had been through a lot. All of his friends, every last one of his allies, even his enemies, had all been sent to the pit. Evading elimination, he had literally danced with death.

Hamm had taken control of him several times. Each time it felt more and more disgusting as she willed him to follow her every command. Slap wondered why he was even in this event.

He pushed these thoughts aside and looked at the giant screen that all of the contestants had gathered around. ColoredHue announced “And the two in the duel are… Slapdabass and Faraway_Flame!” All of the other contestants high fived each other and whooped, glad to see that both of the outcasts were going to duel- and only one of them was going to come out alive.

Suddenly, Slap felt an otherworldly presence enter his mind. Hamm. He was immediately filled with a strong desire to go to the arena. No matter how much he tried, Slap felt his arms and legs moving in motion, moving towards the place he dreaded almost as much as the pit.

As he (involuntarily) walked into the arena, he momentarily regained control as Hamm raised her arms for silence. Everyone’s mouths shut immediately. Hamm sat high up in the stands, with a gilded booth, observing. Then, she looked at Slap and cocked her head to one side.

Suddenly, Slapdabass started brimming with rage, looking for Faraway_Flame as he fumed. A part of Slap wanted to fight the anger, the mind tricks, but the rest of him was consumed. He saw Flame’s arm behind a rock. Slap smiled ferociously. The battle was on.


I ducked behind a rock, trying not to scream at the universe for being so unfair. When I was carted off to the arena, I was expecting a fight against Colored, or Glace, but DEFINITELY not Slap. I snuck a peek from behind my rock, expecting the most incomprehensibly awful things. What I saw was arguably worse. Now, let’s review the situation.

  1. Slap was charging at my rock at full speed.

  2. He was wielding a giant guitar (that had a reputation of knocking people out on the first swing)

  3. There was a solar eclipse blocking the sun, so the only fire spells I could cast were

  4. Jetflame, which propelled the user in the direction they were facing

  5. Eclipse Strike, which could allow the user to unleash a combination of blisteringly quick and extremely deadly fire slices

  6. Fireweave, which allowed the user to trap things into the white-hot threads and bind them there, spontaneously combusting on the user’s command

  7. ???, which was a spell so powerful that it required nearly all of my energy to use

  8. I knew none of those spells. None.

  9. To put the nail in the coffin, a bird decided to dive-bomb me and poop on my shirt.

“Hey! Come back here!” I yelled at the bird, and realized that this wasn’t the best time for grudges against birds. I turned around and narrowly ducked a giant guitar in my face. Slap was NOT messing around. He was much tougher, stronger and knowledgeable than I was. I had an advantage in two things, though.

Agility, for I could easily outrun anyone in The Great Forum Battle (the only one who made me really sweat was ColoredHue). I also had wicked parkour skills, being able to jump around 9 feet without a running start. I was also cunning, being able to use my area to my advantage.

The arena in question was rocky, with an easily scalable tree near the east wall. I started taking note of some footholds on the tree while running from Slap, who was already getting tired from lugging around his heavy metal bass insert cymbal clash here.

The arena also had a rocky hill in the middle, and at the top sat a rusted metal sword. I didn’t think I would need it, but who knew what would happen?

I looked behind me. Slap was no longer chasing me. Instead, he was nowhere to be found. I searched around, looking for him. As I turned my head, I screamed as I was jumpscared by Slap running at me, guitar in hand. After recovering from my shock, I used one swift motion to duck under his guitar and sweep his legs from under him.

Slap knew my every next move. Even if I could outrun him, he had much more stamina. I would have to do something he didn’t expect. I climbed a rock, Slap not far behind me. As soon as he swung his guitar at the large boulder, I jumped off and caught hold of a branch on the massive, twisted, and thorny tree. Luckily, the branches had many, many leaves, providing me good cover in the foliage where I could plan my next move.

I scrambled up the tree, already knowing the best footholds and places to step. Slap was much slower to climb up, though I had to admit he was good at climbing. Slap panted a bit, evidently trying to fight the rage that Hamm was inducing on him. It wasn’t working.

I bounded from branch to branch, shocked to see Slap gaining momentum on me. He paused. “Tire……me……out.” was all Slap could muster before the rage returned. I thought for a moment, and then jumped down behind him. He continued climbing, oblivious. Then, I (carefully) snatched the guitar off of his back, and hit him with it. It definitely didn’t have the power that Slap could muster, but it was enough for Slap to get woozy.

Slap clutched his head, confused at what just happened, and he lost his grip. As Slap went into freefall, I went too. Even though I was placing my body in an aerodynamic position, I was still only around 70 pounds (very light for a 14-yr old), causing Slap to still fall faster than I was, even with me carrying a 20 pound bass. With the last of my strength, I cast Jetflame to reach Slap positio- wait. I used Jetflame?!

Sure enough, I found myself under Slap, and just before we reached the ground, I cast Jetflame again, propelling us away from the sandy floor, making it so that we didn’t splat on the ground.

Slap and I landed together on a rock. As we both collapsed on the hard surface, he had something to say.

“Thanks, Flame.”

“I always have your back.”

“Hehe. And I have yours.”

Suddenly, a blinding pain pierced my chest. I looked down to see a rusted sword straight through my solar plexus. Hamm was looking pleased in the stands. This time, the guitar aimed at my head didn’t miss. The last thing I saw was Slap’s horrified face before everything went black.


As Flame was killed, instead of laying limp on the floor, his entire body combusted, leaving a massive inferno. Everything within 10 feet of him was eviscerated, leaving a single fiery orange feather where his body used to be. Slapdabass was horrified at what he had done.

Hamm was busy smiling at Slapdabass to notice.

“Ah, that pesky Fire Mage finally got what he deserved.” she muttered under her breath. Unbeknownst to her, Slap had excellent hearing.

“Now, the victor shall receive his prize.” Hamm whistled for some type of mount, and immediately, two air spirits and a carriage materialized in front of her. She hopped in the carriage, glided down to the top of the flat rock and promptly got out.

“And your priz-” Hamm couldn’t finish her sentence, as she found herself trapped in a cocoon of fire threads. “mmf! Errrrff!”

Slapdabass watched as Hamm stopped struggling, shocked and confused. As the Eclipse ended, Faraway_Flame could use regular fire spells again. He summoned a knife made of blue flame, and sliced a partivular bracelet off of her left hand. Hamm went limp.

Faraway_Flame was back. And the plan? It was executed perfectly.


“Flame! Come here!” Slap said in a hushed voice. “It’s gonna be me versus you in the duel. We’ll need a plan.”

Faraway_Flame was confused. “Me… versus you?! I’m instantly gonna lose!”

Slap rolled his eyes. “Only if we actually fight. But Hamm will make us fight, as long as she has that mind control power.”

Flame glanced around, made sure no one was there, and said “You know, I’ve been thinking. Hamm isn’t a mage, so how did she get the ability to hypnotize people? My guess is dark energy. That bracelet of hers is literally pure black. If we destroy that, we should be good to go.”

Slap scrunched up his face in thinking, and said “You know, Hamm wasn’t always like this. We used to be friends, back when we were hardly seven. She definitely didn’t have the power to mind control back then, and she wasn’t… cruel.”

“What if we lure her down to the arena, and then break the bracelet?”

“Okay, but how do we do that?”

“I don’t know…”

“Wait!” Slap said excitedly. “What if we fake your death with your phoenix? I mean, a solar eclipse is coming up… so?”

“Ok, here’s the plan. You will almost certainly get hypnotized, but Hamm definitely won’t take full control. So I think she’ll induce some kind of rage on you. Then, I’ll tire you out of the rage, we’ll sit down together, and then you’ll kill me, acting like you’re still under her command. She’ll come down to give you your prize, and then I’ll come back to life and try to get that bracelet off of her.” Faraway_Flame sighed. “I don’t wanna use my phoenix so quickly, but fine.”

Faraway_Flame, before getting captured by Hamm, had decoded the pyromancy scroll he was studying earlier. It was titled “The Phoenix of Rebirth”, and during a solar eclipse, would essentially give him the power to come back after dying. Right after the revival, Flame would be protected by a phoenix, which would give him increased power, including knowledge of nearly every fire spell. However, someone could only use it once. Additionally, if the feather left behind was destroyed, then the spell wouldn’t work.

This was his ace. And it would not fail.


Hamm wasn’t always like this. Before, she was a boisterous, fun person, being able to make anyone laugh. But something had changed. The other villagers looked at her with piercing glares, muttering things under their breath.

Hamm, confused, walked up to Shadowblade, one of her closest friends. “Shadow! Do you know why everyone is acting so… weird?”

Shadowblade looked around. made sure no one was watching, and dropped the bomb. “Everyone thinks you’re a witch. Remember that black cat you helped by fixing its leg? They think that’s a sign. You need to get out of here while they haven’t done anything drastic.”

Hamm watched in horror as Shadowblade walked away. Dazed, she turned the corner- only to find a mob of pitchfork-wielding villagers. They chased her all throughout the village, almost catching her at times.

Stones and hot coals were thrown at Hamm, but no matter how much she pleaded, the mob was relentless. Finally, Hamm ran out the gates of her village. She turned back for one final look at her beloved town. The gates shut behind her, locking her out.

Hamm sat down and cried, for everything she had done for everyone had been forgotten. All that remained was the hate that the villagers had for her. For a long time, Hamm wandered about, foraging for food, hiding at the slightest sound. She had become a recluse.

On a particularly stormy night, Hamm sought shelter in a cave. It was a weird cave, filled with glowing moss and bugs the size of Hamm’s hand. Then, Hamm saw it. There was a pedestal with a bracelet- and it seemed to call to Hamm.

hamm, Hamm, HAMM! Each echo got louder and louder, resounding throughout the whole cave. Or was that just in Hamm’s mind? She couldn’t tell.

We will grant you great power, Power, POWER! said the bracelet. Wisps of light seemed to swirl around the bracelet, illuminating its design of a marionette on strings, controlling more marionettes.

Hamm was drawn closer to the bracelet. “What kind of power?” asked Hamm. The voices spoke ominously. The power you most desire, Desire! The power to change other’s minds, Minds, MINDS! All you have to do is wear us.

Hamm noticed that the last line didn’t echo, like the others, but she didn’t care. In her most vulnerable moment, Hamm slipped the bracelet on her hand, making the worst mistake of her life. Little did she know, the bracelet didn’t only let her control others. It controlled her.


I slowly exhaled. We had actually done it! Hamm had been freed from the influence of the bracelet, and I had even picked up a few new spells along the way.

Hamm was lying on the floor, horrified. “Wh-What have I done?!” She curled up into a ball, waiting for someone to attack her. “Y-you’re not mad at me?”

“I know firsthand how screwed up dark energy is. You’re not to blame. That bracelet is.” I offered a hand to Hamm. As she took it, all of the contestants in the pit walked into the arena, confused.

“Looks like no one remembers anything.” Slap commented. The people in the stands were under the same effect, confused as to what had happened.

“We should leave it at that. If they knew anything about what happened…”

A chorus of i agree’s came from the surviving contestants. And that was that.


As the bracelet began to reform, the voices inside stirred, creating ghostly wisps of light. Faraway_Flame, FLAME, FLAME! You’re next, Next, NEXT!!!


Nice! I mostly skimmed though it, and by the looks of it, it is great!
I definitely will read all of it when I have the time!

1 Like

This isn’t a bad story it’s actually a pretty good story

I agree

Took a bit to read ngl

u know the meme from tiktok when a blind guy touches a cheese grader and says “Im not readin all that!”? Well thats not me, bc i read it and i think its great; keep upp the good work!


i don’t understand how you guys like this